Thanks 2019

It was probably in March when I realized the year 2019 was going to be my most challenging year yet. I am stepping into the year 2020 barely surviving year 2019. It wasn’t just me, this year was also hard for my family. There was a lot of loss in friendships, people, and places. And I kept hearing around me “This is just the new season” and to be honest I was bitter because I was perfectly fine with the old season I was in! Why was God doing this to me? Why was God changing my way of life? Why was I having to suffer, start at a brand new place, and lose meaningful friendships. When I got diagnosed with depression this August it was not even a surprise to me. I remember thinking “Thanks 2019.” And as I fought harder to hold onto God’s promises of peace and joy, it became harder to love Him. There were so many things I wanted God to immediately save me from, and he didn’t. Actually, nobody did. All of my closest friends were gone and I was only left with my fiance and my immediate family members. What I can say as I see 2020 on the horizon, is that I am so thankful God cleansed my life. I am so thankful that God wants me to have real intentional relationships with people. He took away what I thought were friendships to protect me and see what real godly relationships are. I am thankful that God unified my family through trial and that we became stronger and our roots grew deeper. Can I tell you something else? I am starting to see fruit! Through the season of emptiness and loneliness I see that God has real relationships waiting for me in 2020. God has all the promises I had been waiting for in 2020. I claim healing and restoration, peace and joy, love and happiness in my life and yours for 2020.

If you are in a similar discouraging season here are 2 verses I put on my bathroom mirror to keep me focused on God’s voice,

“You are my hiding place, you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.” Psalms 32:7

“And my God will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” Phillippians 4:19

#thanks2019 #beautifullybroken