So I asked myself this question a few months back, (really just out of curiosity and a desperate need to see if is even possible to live and think differently)… “Can I reinvent myself?” Now, this is more than a question that longs to be a better version or what I would call Ian 2.0! This is a question that really leads with an intention of change, of transformation, of new pathways in my brain that create a new way of thinking about fitness, food, and long life. And my journey began with a deep longing to find an answer, but it actually has led to simplicity and small, consistent, daily efforts.
I made a decision on the Friday before school started back up for the fall of 2020 to start going to the gym. I signed up online for a free monthly promo at a gym down the road, and went shopping for some cute spandex motivation… I made the decision that I would get up every day that I take Maci to school, put on my workout clothes (before I even had time to talk myself out of heading to the gym), and just drive straight there right after she closed the car door. And I can say with honesty that there were days those first couple of weeks that I didn’t want to head to the gym. I didn’t want to sweat, I was already sore, my mind filled with excuses, BUT I would make my decision to get out of the car, not based on my emotions or lack of willpower, and add another day under my belt. Slowly but surely I was reestablishing a new way of thinking, a new way of living, a new way of reinventing myself.
I am still at the beginning of my journey (this is only the beginning of week nine), but I am finding that it is possible to reinvent yourself… Here is the thing, reinventing is always about surrender. Surrendering my agenda, my expectations, my timeline… I step on the scale, and I’ll be honest, it hasn’t moved much (definitely not enough to keep me motivated)! I do feel my clothes fit me better, I have more energy, I feel good overall, and physically I have more stamina and endurance; but y'all, it is still a hard battle to surrender where I think I should be after eight weeks. Especially when I begin to really examine the life altering event 18 months ago when I “let myself go”… I let myself begin to stop prioritizing eating well, moving till you sweat, physical strength training, and still I want my recovery to come instantaneously. I want to see results on the scale and in my wardrobe, when for a year and half it was the furthest thing from my mind! I mean talk about a wake-up call!
The truth is Jesus doesn’t just want me to change my body, or only want me to live healthy and strong; but he desperately wants to renew my way of thinking… Cause the battle is really in mind (even though it shows up as extra pounds and a muffin top)!!! I have really had to allow Jesus to reestablish some truths about my body, this temple (1 Corinthians 6:19), and to help me reevaluate the depth of my past hurts so that I could stop making excuses that left me lazy, unhealthy, and depleted. Now, I’m not minimizing life altering events, or painful seasons where you have to allow yourself time for God to restore and renew you mentally before you begin the physical journey. But I can honestly say I was stalled and disobedient. I had become comfortable in that sedentary place, and I filled my days with lots of well-meaning and self-satisfying moments; but without ever really honoring my physical responsibility to my one and only body.
I’ve done lots of praying at the gym… Praying that the reps would be fast and painless… Praying that the minutes on the elliptical would speed up… Or praying that I would not go into cardiac arrest in front of a room full of strangers! I’ve also prayed for my family, my marriage, my circle of influence, for random (yet not so random) prayer requests that have filled my phone these last several weeks. I have caught myself singing the worship song playing in my earphones all while still trying to keep count of the number of reps. I’ve heard numerous podcasts and sermon series, and even shouted a few amens out loud without even realizing!!! I have felt God present and real, almost like my workout buddy, these last few months as I’ve created a “new” normal by reinventing my days. And not only has my body become strengthened, but my mind has been renewed!
The truth is God is the God of the reinvention! He is always moving us forward, challenging us with the impossible, and guiding us through His new mercies every day. Transformation is His thing!!! Reinvent means to change so much that it appears to be entirely new. I mean if that isn’t a picture of salvation and redemption through the blood of Jesus Christ and by the power of the Holy Spirit, I don’t know what is! And with the help of Jesus I am being made new, day by day…
“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, by let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” Romans 12:2